When you first complete the registration forms with Marie Curie for a trek/adventure/fundraising scheme, they ask you if you wish to walk in remembrance of anyone. I left it blank as there are so many people now gone who I wish to remember.
It would have been far too difficult for me to fit the names of all the people I wanted to remember into a form.
My Auntie Mary who died in Marie Curie when I was just a teenager and last year, a very, very sad time when one of my very best friends lost her mother, again, in Marie Curie. I have blogged about that friend before due to the fact that I knew she was always able to be "herself" around me and I would never have treated her any different. I remember the night her mum passed away, I received a simple text saying "mum's gone........." it brings tears to my eyes now to even think about last summer.
A friend of mine who has suffered so much through losing her brother (not to cancer but a horrific death anyway) and her mother this year, who I think did not even get the chance to have the care of Marie Curie.
My friend and her family had a bench with her mother's name on it put up on Blackford Hill staring right out over the City of Edinburgh straight to Arthur's Seat and Salisbury Crags (a picture of which you can see above).
The above image is what you see from the top of Blackford Hill. I visited that bench the other day whilst out training for my Grand Canyon trek. There is something very peaceful at this spot. Something very poignant and it makes me feel at peace to sit down on the bench and stare out over the City.
I remember clearly going to collect the ashes with my friend. It was all so surreal though as we chose a biodegradable box shaped as a love heart and then the ashes were moved into this box and we "carried" my friend's mother in my car. We laughed a lot that day. Strange, that you would laugh when you are moving the remnants of a loved one around from place to place. Perhaps laughing was the best way for us both to deal with what we were doing. So, I guess if I were to walk for anyone, it would be my friend's mother.
However, things have taken a turn for the worse regarding my partner's mum. I guess it is okay for me to call him my partner but perhaps it would be more prudent to call him my soul mate as that is what he truly is. His mum is currently in Marie Curie, Edinburgh and it is highly unlikely she will return home. I think every day left for her now is truly a blessing for the family but what is it for her? Not only does she suffer from cancer which has riddled her body, she also suffers from dementia and to be perfectly honest, perhaps that is the best thing as she really does not know what is happening to her. However, the family do and that in itself is so tragic.
My soul mate is my boyfriend of my teenage years. We got back together last year for a short time but it did not work out - nothing bad, it was probably just a little too soon after him splitting with his wife. He adores his mother and although he says he is strong, I know he is dying inside and there is nothing I can do to take away that pain that he is feeling. It cuts me up as I wish I had a magic wand - does'nt everybody sometime wish the same?
My post is called Remembrance because I simply plan to trek that Canyon for every single "daffodil" in the sky and pray to god that they find a cure for cancer very, very soon.
